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Bacon is the alarm clock of the nostrils

Ah-Shpet
"101+ Words You'll Need
To Survive The Neighborhood"
by Joe Curcio

Now available at:


$9.99
plus S+H & tax

MOON LANDING 50th ANNIVERSARY

THE HEAT IS ON

Ah-Shpet
"101+ Words You'll Need
To Survive The Neighborhood"
by Joe Curcio

SERIES:
...AND IN OTHER NEWS TODAY...
(click to enlarge each)

Ah-Shpet
"101+ Words You'll Need
To Survive The Neighborhood"
by Joe Curcio

Now available at:


$9.99
plus S+H & tax

Ah-Shpet
"101+ Words You'll Need
To Survive The Neighborhood"
by Joe Curcio

Ah-Shpet
"101+ Words You'll Need
To Survive The Neighborhood"
by Joe Curcio

Now available at:


$9.99
plus S+H & tax

Thanksgiving

Ah-Shpet
"101+ Words You'll Need
To Survive The Neighborhood"
by Joe Curcio

The more you think about, the more you realize that
the holidays is really all about The Clapper & Chia Pets..

Ah-Shpet
"101+ Words You'll Need
To Survive The Neighborhood"
by Joe Curcio

Now available at:


$9.99
plus S+H & tax

Our tastes and preferences certainly do change as we get older.
Women who once found the Keith Partridge or Sal Mineo type
attractive may now prefer a man who keeps his meds
concealed in a decorative toilet paper cozy.
Guys who were once dazzled by girls who doused themselves
in perfume and had a butt that you could bounce a Kennedy-half off of
may now be wooed by a woman who smells like
semolina bread and has an ass resembling a full bag of laundry.

Since what's sexy changes with age, here's my 2017 TOP 10 LIST FOR.....

"THE NEW SEXY OVER 50"

-A balanced diet, a conservative portfolio,
and a moderate urination schedule.

-Having a honey-do list that doesn't include
"pick up FiberCon, a sitz bath, and a sympathy card"

-Being grateful that the only ball to drop on
New Years eve was the one in Times Square.

-Realizing that there's a fine line between being
charming and being "that old guy in the trenchcoat"

-Remembering that you're never too old for sex, yet sensible
enough to realize that perhaps, at the moment, a
cup-a-coffee, and a half-a-bialy is plenty

- Never forgetting that wetting your hair, brushing your teeth,
and putting on cologne does NOT count as taking a shower.

-Developing the skill and dexterity to shake only
a single pill from the bottle or get your foot
through the underwear hole on the very first try.

-Conjuring up enough dignity to pull over and
pretend that you're window shopping when running out
of breath after walking a half a block.

-Being aware that the attractive, middle aged woman who
approached you in the mall asking "if you like it on
top" may just be trying to sell you a mausoleum.

-Budgeting enough discretionary income to replace any unmentionables
that resemble an old lemonade coaster in the front
and the starting line of a drag race in the back.

-Being comfortable enough with yourself to take advantage
of the early bird special, yet still embarrassed enough about
asking the waiter to box up half of it BEFORE you start eating.

-Remembering that breast exams and
the golden goose are no longer
just for foreplay anymore.

-Accepting that some day, wearing a diaper may transition
from fetish to necessity and that "granny sex" is
probably what you've been having lately.

-Still being immature enough to giggle when you
hear the name Regina, and think vagina.

-Having patience and mind enough to count to 10 even
though you can't remember that you've already counted to 15.

PS: For those of you who didn't get the full impact of the
last item... remember that this is
supposed to be a top 10 list.

Thank you for putting up with my immaturity.
You inspire me, and so I hope that in return I can ease your
mind and tickle you with giggle every now and then.
Please have a wonderful, healthy, happy, and incredibly lucky
year ahead. God Bless

Your Friend, always
Joe "Kirsch"