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The Joe Curcio (who is not even Chinese) Fortune Teller:
Download the zip file here

WARNING: Some of the fortunes that are included with this app use a bit of strong language that may not be suitable for some audiences

OS: Windows
COST: Free (As with all of my free software, I appreciate an e-mail from you telling me that you are using it)

Finally a FORTUNE TELLER app that YOU CAN WRITE THE FORTUNES for. The app already comes with a ton of serious and really funny fortunes. However, you can write, add, or remove as many fortunes as you wish. This is a great office gag app. A great app for teaching, etc. My original FORTUNE TELLER app was a BIG HIT and purchased by quite a few corporate groups who had me customize the interface with their logo and info and write some corporate encouraging fortunes as well. This one is as cool, and includes a clock too !

• No installation is required
• It adds no files to your system other than the Executable & INI file that you download and place.
• It adds nothing to the system registry
• It contains no spyware
• It's free for use.

Sample Fortunes (The real fortunes don't have the censored label):

Installation:

WARNING: Some of the fortunes that are included with this app use a bit of strong language that may not be suitable for some audiences

Your system should include all required supporting files. If not, simply Google for any DLL or other supporting files in which you get a "missing file" error for.

• Download the zip file here
• Unzip, and place the following  files in any directory
  
  - CurcioFortuneCookie.exe
  - fortunes.ini
  
• Create a shortcut to CurcioFortuneCookie.exe and place it on your desktop

Configuration: 

• The app already comes with a mix of serious and funny fortunes. But you can roll your own as well by editing the fortunes.ini file with a plain text editor like NOTEPAD. Please see the various HELP Menus for more info.
  
  
  
  
  

• The You MUST RESTART the app after editing the fortunes.ini file.